As the title suggests that is how I feel some days. It is how I have felt with this project cleanse, I have been working on. Two weeks ago, I was going strong, I was diving right in. Then satan grabbed a hold of me and he got downright mad and threw some problems at me and I failed. I failed all week long and then I wallowed in it. Then you know what happened?


I was redeemed. He grabbed me right up out of my wallowing (in self pity because my body hurt, because my website was broken, etc) and he filled me up. He pushed me through the pain, he made me realize again and again that it is not about me. He called me to care for my children, to care for my husband, and having a house full of projects (disorganized kitchen/rooms, unhealthy diet, useless activities) that are not being done pulls me away from my mission. I know that this will be a long project, one that will take many months and that I will have to diligently keep on top of, so that I do not let things pile up on me again. Yet, once done I can concentrate more on the calling God gave me. To nurture my children and support my husband as God needs me to.

As God redeemed me once again, He also blessed me. He gave me some tools to further cleansing.

My dear Geek Adonis got bookcases for our school area.

This put me into overdrive to go through all of our school books, papers, projects and organize them, pass on to others things we do not need anymore, and throw things away. As the Lord fueled me and gave me strength I kept going and got…


Rid of 4-6 trash bags full of clothes. All of this organizing and cleaning spurred the children on and they got into the fun with me. They helped me build the bookcases and go through their clothes, letting me know which ones were their favorites. After our full days together, not only was it fun, but I realized through all of this cleansing I spent more time with my children and we learned and laughed together.

What do you do with all the items you get rid of when you organize and clean?

These are some ways we get rid of items…
– Sell clothing and toys at, Once Upon a Child.
– Take some items to Goodwill
– Give to friends
– Sell on Ebay.
– Sell on Craigslist.
– Use Paperback swap.

I don’t do this, but have known people to start facebook groups with other homeschoolers in their local area and post curriculum and other school related items for sale.

I leave you with this…

Therefore, since we have been
justified through faith, we have peace
with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
through whom we have gained access by faith
into this grace in which we now stand.
And we boast in the hope of the glory
of God. Not only so, but we
also glory in our sufferings, because
we know that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance, character;
and character hope. And hope does
not put us to shame, because God’s
love has been poured out into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit, who has
been given to us.

Romans 5:1-5